It's Never Too Late to Change - Delve

Hi, I make New Years Resolutions on the 26th of January instead of the 1st. This year, I said that I wasn't going to do any New Years Resolutions. In the last few weeks though, I've changed my mind. In fact, I may have made twelve resolutions...

Reading all the beginning of the year blogs and talking to my friends, Andrea and TeeJay, about all the options of the new year made me desire to actually do something. I've ended up combining a few of my favorite New Years Ideas including Jon Acuff's Finish Year with Words of the Year (Up, Grow, Delightful) and Andrea's sister-in-laws Twelve for Twelve - Twelve Resolutions for the year 2012. 

I'm kind of excited about this. I mean, it's all still new. It is still January. I know making a New Years resolution-ish blog post so close to February is a little iffy, but that's okay!


Twelve for Twelve
They are: Books, 5K, Quotes, Blog, Create, Learn, Gratefulness, Minimize, Handmade, Intentionality, No, Word.

1. Finish Year: Books I've Already Started.
I am positive that I am not the only person with a reading problem. I used to devour full books in a day, now I can't even stumble through reading a full book in a year. I have a knack that no matter how much I am enjoying any particular read, I will stop at Chapter 3. Okay, that's being way too lenient. I usually stop after Chapter 1. I made it to the first page of Chapter 4 on Redeeming Love so in my mind, all the books I've ever started that ended up in piles of books on my nightstand or in my car were all immediately jumped to that first page of Chapter 4. This is exactly how I missed a full half of one of the Harry Potter books. (For the record, I figured it out because of the confusion my mind was in during the movie.) For Finish Year: Books, I will attempt to finally finish all those books that got left behind after that first chapter or so.

2. Finish Year: Work Out More - 5K.
I ran a half marathon once. Okay, okay, I sprinted about 5 minutes during a half marathon that I walked. That does seem quite different now that I think about it. My goal is to run a 5K in its entirety by the end of 2012. I'm going to start slow by walking the majority of one next weekend, but we all have to start somewhere.

3. Finish Year: Quote Book.
I started a quote book when I was in high school. This is really just a green journal that I wrote down a few quotes I liked and has now expanded to a huge list including sections of books that challenge, inspire and make me laugh. I want to fill up the whole thing with quotes from the books I read for Finish Year, scriptures that are near to m heart, favorited tweets and other quotes I've heard or seen around Pinterest.

4. Blog More. Regularly. Intentionally.
You agree on this one, right? I wish I had gotten paid this last semester for every time someone asked me when I was going to update again. I don't want this blog to be a place where I update when I feel like I have the time. I want it to be intentional. I stink at journaling because my hand cramps up, but I can type all day plus I have things to say to the world, whether I always believe it or not. Here's to blogging more regularly!

5. Create.
I was really good at favorite-ing food items on Foodgawker last semester. I was really good at adding blogs to the bookmarks on my computer to come back and look at, cook the recipe of, or craft from, etc. Now after having held out for almost a year, I am finally on Pinterest. (You can follow me here.) It's dumb to have all these great ideas and recipes at my fingertips and not utilize any of them. That is what I will strive to do, whether it's a recipe, craft or whatnot as often as I can.

6. Learn.
Confession time. (Although, my whole 12 for 12 may be one big confession really). I have an awesome camera with access to a ton of great resources and I don't utilize these resources nearly enough. I have a desire to speak Spanish even more fluently yet never practice. I want to be able to tell you what wrong with my car but I just never read up on it. I want to be able to do ________, yet I just don't. For all those things I need to practice or learn, this is their spot in my next year. Can't say it will be perfectly done, but I want to at least put forth an effort.

7. Minimize & Organize.
I have a bunch of stuff I don't need or even have the desire to still have as well as things that are silly but I still want to hold on to. Jeans that don't fit? Yeah, it's time to part ways with you. Piles of ticket stubs in drawers? Let's get you in a book or something. Every card I've gotten in my life? The full drawer is nice, but let's find you a better home. I need to give away and declutter. I need to organize and repurpose.

8. Gratefulness.
'Hi I'm American!' seems to be synonymous with 'Hello, I'm ungrateful.' I want to use up a bunch of thank you notes this year not only so I can get new ones, but because there are a ton of people that could use the encouragement, gratitude and even a Sunday funnie in a letter to brighten up their day. I wan to give that to them.

9. Handmade.
Ever go into a friends house and you can practically see the store layouts of where they got them and which of your other friends also owns it? No? It may just be me and my problem with noticing things at stores right after seeing them at a friends house. It's like individuality has gone out the window with all these brands (Sorry to rag on you Target. You know I love you as I have my fair share of Target buys littering my home). The favorite gifts I've given these last 2 years have been homemade gifts. This is the year I want to try to give as many homemade gifts as possible (although there will be some exceptions!)

10. Intentionality in Relationships.
You can say I'm good at this. You can say I'm terrible at this. Both statements are true. How? I'm really good with being intentional in some relationships and not so intentional in other ones. Why can't I just be intentional in all of them? Its ridiculously hard for sure, but their are definitely some friends that I have allowed to be stranded by the wayside during tough crunch times. (Also, shout out and thank you to all of those whom were more than willing to change our coffee dates into picking out diploma frames, running errands, etc. You know who you are and you are amazing!) This year though, I want to try my best to be fully present during hangouts and opportunities I have with family, friends and strangers. This will be a work in progress, possibly forever.

11. Say No & Relax.
This is for sure going to be the most difficult thing to do. I think it's pretty self explanatory but do more downtime rather than running at 97 miles per hour just because I can. All the running, chaos and last minute plans cause burn out and that's not good to cope with. Why not forgo all that and just rest some before the burn out? Brilliant. This is going to be so hard. 

12. Word.
Delve into the word. This one is also pretty self explanatory, but I really want to get inside the stories of the Bible and really develop not just a relationship with God, but truly a deep intimacy with the scriptures to go alongside of it.

& The one word that sums it all up for me? Delve

 Also, if you've made it this far, enjoy the 2011 Twitter Timeline Review.

Consider the Birds

I struggle with a sin called worry. I struggle with a sin called stress. I struggle with anxiety. Over the last few weeks, Jesus and I've been talking about a beautiful thing He did on the cross. He covered my sins: worry, stress and anxiety when he was nailed to the cross. He gave me freedom to live my life and not be a captive to these things. This is kind of an oversimplified explanation of what this means in my life, which I hope to come back and explore in the future.

In the meantime, it's finals week. It's a week where the libraries, coffeeshops, and really any spot on campus gets flooded with people hacking away at a paper on their laptops, readings are being furiously highlighted and many study early into the morning with coffee cups glued to their hands. One common fear binds us all in this. We won't make the necessary grades. We won't do well. We worry, we stress, we give our lives over to anxiety instead of giving it all to God. My WILgroup for ASC has been discussing this a lot lately. Here's some verses that the girls, especially me, are clinging to:

"Look at the ravens. They do not plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can't accomplish a little thing like that what's the use of worrying over bigger things? ...Don't worry about such things. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need." - Luke 12:24-31

My lovely WILgroup leader, Jana, sent me this the other day on facebook:

"Isaiah 41 starting around verse 21 it talks about idols and at the end it says " Not one of your idols told you this. Not one gave any answer when I asked. See they are all foolish, worthless things. All your idols are as empty as the wind"
-so do not put things above the Lord..those things are of Satan and they are meaningless without God...whatever you do-do it for the Glory of God...so if you are going to study hard to get good grades...do it for HIS glory...not your own..and do not let it consume your thoughts because whatever you think about is what you will care about and what you care about will stir the affections of your heart...I urge you to pray before you study and have the Lord do what he wants with that time..."

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”- Philippians 4:6-7

"For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore... do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own troubles." - Matthew 6:32b-34
^"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39

"I'm leaving you with a gift, peace of mind and heart, and the peace I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid" - John 14:27

"Come to me all who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

"I will never fail you nor forsake you" - Hebrew 13:5

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." - Galatians 5:1

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

Wreckage

I have a problem.
I like my plans, even when I tell God he can wreck them.
I like to keep my fist semi-clenched around my plans.
I like to make justifications on how God can wreck my plans, as long as it's the part of my plan that I'm okay with being wrecked.

God is in control of my life and my plans, not me.
God has indeed granted my prayer of wrecking my summer plans to glorify Him, just not in the way that I asked Him to.

I posted this on here last week:
I'm not sure if you're supposed to necessarily pray for wrecked plans with how you'd really like God to wreck your plans, but if this is what God's going to wreck them for, well, BRING ON THE WRECKED PLANS LORD! (whatever they may be!)

Well, God answered those prayers. My summer plans have been wrecked. Instead of wrecking Argentina so I could have the missionary internship. God wrecked the Argentina Global Media program, the missionary internship that I could possibly do and my backup Costa Rica classes for Summer 1. All in all, it looks like I will be in the states this summer. (Or maybe I'll be in Brazil? Haha!)

This leads me to wonder what I'll be doing this summer...
all I know is that it will be for God's glory wherever I am, whatever I am doing.

I'm clinging to my lifeverse for this season because yet again it rings true for me: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

World Travellin'

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. - Proverbs 19:21
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. - Romans 8:28

I feel kind of bad writing on here before calling home and giving the news in. I'll be calling my mom via cellular device once I push publish. Actually, it's close to midnight. I'll call first thing in the morning.

I found out that today I was accepted to the 5 week Global Media Argentina Program that I hoped on for this summer. This means, I'll spend part of my summer in Argentina for sure. Planned? Check. Everything ready to go? Not yet, but it will be.

Perfection, right? Mostly. I need to spend 10 weeks minimum abroad. This means that for the remainder of summer I'll have to be somewhere else. I've chosen a program in Costa Rica that's just classes and I'll be working with a missionary family down there in my free time and in the week before my program starts. I found out today while waiting in one of many offices on campus that it might not happen. No way around it. Over and out.

Right before that though, I'd gone to one of my advisor's offices and the forms I had couldn't be signed by her first which is actually how I ended up in the other office. I ended up hanging out in the office for a bit and in passing asked my advisor a question about if it was probable to be interning a missionary for credit. I ended up telling her a bit about the mission organization and the missionaries I'd be working with. Guess what? It doesn't matter if the program passes through the system. I'll have myself a missionary internship in Costa Rica.

I'm not sure if you're supposed to necessarily pray for wrecked plans with how you'd really like God to wreck your plans, but if this is what God's going to wreck them for, well, BRING ON THE WRECKED PLANS LORD! (whatever they may be!)

The Shift in Global Christianity

Last night, I attended a lecture on the The Shift in Global Christianity. I had originally wanted to go, decided against it and then one of my professors emailed me about the extra credit opportunity of attending and writing a summary of this very lecture. I will probably be posting all of my notes on here soon in a very non-cohesive way. In the mean time feel free to be enlightened/challenged by my summary of the lecture that just brushes what's bouncing around in my brain:

I usually hate being given factoids comprised of numbers. When Dr. Jenkins started spitting out at statistics, at first I was weary but this quickly changed. He started spitting out these astounding numbers of how the demographics of Christianity is shifting. In 1900, 1/3 of of the worlds' inhabitants subscribe to Christianity. 80-85% of the Christian population was in North America and Europe. In 2050 the projection of this will still be 1/3 of the world's inhabitants subscribing to Christianity, however, only 25% of the population will be in North America and Europe.

This is a huge demographic shift for Christianity away from ancient lands of Christianity. Where is it going? Africa, Latin America and Asia is where they will be residing, otherwise known as the global south. The big question that Dr. Jenkins seemed to be answering was why? In the future, there will be a larger proportion of people to be living in the world and the demographics will be distributed differently was the short vague answer.

However, there was another answer, a powerful gripping answer that those living in poverty (typically seen to be those located in the global south) have a different take on reading the bible in today's world as well as having a different conversion process. One of the African theologians who I was unable to jot down a name said that “If any African can't identify with their old testament, then they've lost their Africanness.”

Jenkins goes on to talk about the many hymns (upwards of thousands) that we don't know because they are in Swahili and other languages that we do not know. There are 16,000 hymns in the Dinka language alone. It was interesting to hear how the Psalms related the Bible to their actual lives as lions would leave the entrails behind in one of the hymns demonstrated during the presentation. He spoke of how whoever wrote Psalm 126 knew famine and that's what the African people can relate to. They can relate to a widow tearing up her whole house searching for a coin. Reading the bible with a global perspective changed what we otherwise would have thought what the bible was saying to us.

Two other major changes will be that the majority of the world's Christians will be chiefly a poor society. The other being that they will live in a very different spiritual universe than Europe or US, a more charismatic one which believes firmly in healing and exorcisms. Also, instead of the U.S. and Europe sending missionaries to places such as Nigeria, they instead will be sending missionaries to us.

This is going to be a very scary thing for the traditional churches in the U.S. and Europe. The closing remarks were Jenkins talking to a woman who feared the counter current movement of right now saying instead to “Look south. Don't want to? Don't worry, it'll come to you.”

Studying on a Friday Night

This week, I've been a horrible student. I don't even want to tell you how I finished my two papers for today, how long I had until the deadlines when I turned them in or what time I woke up to get this all done.

Actually, I will tell you what time I woke up. 4AM. That's a little on the ridiculous scale, but I got everything done and then some. So why am I studying so late at night? Shouldn't I be snuggled into my bed with a mug of hot cocoa and a good read instead of laboring away at my kitchen table while overlooking a game of Quelf.

This answer is simple. I am enjoying studying. I'm not studying for my classes, but rather for photography. Tomorrow I'll be out in the world with a lovely model, Calli, as I attempt to practice my photography skills. In preparation for this, my camera is lying by my side as I pour through the quick start guide that came with the camera as well as websites such as Ken Rockwell's that make photography a bit easier for those of us who don't really know what they're doing. I've taken notes. There might be more notes on this notecard over things like ISO, aperture and exposure than I have taken during some of my classes this semester.

One of the things I came across makes me want to rethink the photography side of my life. This is the typical day of a professional photographer:

• Before dark - wake up and get to location
• Dawn: shoot
• 8 AM: breakfast, shower, nap
• Day: scout out new locations
• Afternoon: lunch and/or dinner
• Sunset: shoot
• After dark: later dinner
• After dinner: shower and bed early to shoot at dawn

The beginning before dark is the part that gets to me. I woke up at 4AM this morning for school. I can't imagine getting up this early always for photography, granted I'd probably love it. I'd grab a cup of joe and drive in the wee hours of the morning with no one on the wide open road with me as I get to a location to watch the sun peep around the world as it causes the sky to wake up in an explosion of color. Maybe that's a good idea after all, it could be the love of my life.

Call+Response

Screen the whole thing tomorrow night at A&M UMC, 7pm.
Hope to see you there!

Can't you just hear His belly laugh now?

Have you ever been waiting for a phone call or an email that you know is going to change things? I've spent a great deal of my summer waiting on two - an email whether I got CLUES mentor or not and whether or not my second major (International Studies) had been declared or not. I got both forms of communication this week. While I did get the opportunity to be a CLUES mentor (yay!), I was informed that no major declarations are being put through until October. How uncool.

All summer I've been doing a lot of questioning about this whole declaring a major thing. It just seems so definite, unchangable. I was hoping to take the easy way out with this decision as I've been hoping it just going through and my advisor would put me in a certain class I really need to take this semester but most likely won't. Then I wouldn't have to worry so much...

I do though and now I'm stuck scrounging around to figure out what I'm going to do this fall. I'm stuck. Howdy has just bailed on my search by letting me know at 7am it will no longer work until it opens Monday for registration. Okay, well, at least it can still help me for the next few hours. No. Howdy just turned its back on me by not loading. I've got some options I researched last night, but it all comes down to if I really want to stick with these majors or not.

Options:
Spanish & International Studies (Government & Diplomacy) majors
Spanish & International Studies (Communications & Media) majors
Spanish & Journalism minor
Spanish & Journalism & History Minors*

*If you're wondering, I'm not really planning on dropping any classes that I already have for this semester due to me having to add more classes already and I'll be 3 hours away from a History minor no matter what.

The "plan" (Man, I love when I can practically hear God's deep gut-wrenching belly laugh whenever he hears me say that. It reminds me that I'm not really in control.) is to get my teaching certificate after I graduate no matter what which will take about a year. Then I'm hopefully going to grad school for Journalism.

If I declare both majors though, I'll be in undergrad an extra 6 months causing me to graduate in December. That's not bad. Then there's the year of becoming teacher certified which is kind of my back up for everything (although if I chose the Span/Jour/Hist option, I'd have more choices). Grad school looks like it's about 2 years for a MA in Journalism. Sigh.

This is mainly just a written flow of the thoughts that have been weighing upon my mind this summer as I question everything I've done for the past 2 years. Having said that though, if you have any advice, I'd love to hear it.

What to do, What to do, What to do...

I just want to scream.
I've been rethinking my major (International Studies & Spanish) for the last week. These thoughts of doubt came from out of nowhere. My result? I have no idea what I'm doing. I mean, I'm going the right way if there was just one path. There's not though. There's a series of paths that are branching off, options that I should have already realized, but I failed to realize them. Now what?

I need to remember the future is in God's hands because I've got no clue where in the world it is taking me.


"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD ,' plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" - Jeremiah 29:11

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9