When The 'What Ifs' Turn to Yeses!

There seems to be an increasing interest in the introvert versus extrovert topic lately so much so that I saw someone post to Twitter the other day that saying you're an introvert is the new gluten-intolerant stance. It's trendy. I've never really been clear on where I stand on the introvert to extrovert status. I've heard it said that an introvert may not say much but there are things constantly running in their mind. That is my mind.

I may not be writing here much lately but if you could be in my mind and hear the thoughts, oh man, would you be excited for the future posts I have swirling around in my head. Why am I waiting though? I'm waiting because I want things to be good. I want to impart the things I've learned, the things I love and the things that encompass my mind on here. I want to impart them well. I'm not waiting on perfection right now though, I'm waiting on time. 

Start Experiment Round One lit a fire under my blogging bum and came at a time where there was a lot of 'What ifs?' up in the air. Now it's Start Experiment Round Two and I'm ironing out a lot of the awesome that has happened from Round One and looking at new Round Two opportunities. 

In Round One, I risked two things: getting a job I loved and working on my blog consistency. I was blessed to get a job at a church within the first two days of assignments being released. It is a huge victory knowing that I will be doing something I love doing. I had a little more time to start getting blog consistency worked up and working on some new exciting changes for it. In addition to this, I got to edit a book for a new friend. More than all of that though, I have found a loving community of dreamers. 

In the end of Round One, I started my new job in a new city. We're well into Round Two and I'm currently working remotely as I wait for some medical things to be taken care of for my Dad. I'm working, packing, taking care of my sister, saying goodbye to friends (and hello to a few who have been out of the country), making sure my dog is okay along with Start and so many new opportunities that seem to be knocking on my door right now. It's been a whirlwind of a few weeks and I'm crazy excited about all of the opportunities from having my photography in an art show to having a giveaway to making new connections with amazing individuals. 

It's time consuming though and with the 'What ifs?' turning into 'Yeses', it's becoming impossible to keep up with everything. It's impossible to say yes to everything. It's a problem that I've encountered and befriended for years now. It's time to learn to say things like 'wait' and 'not now' and even the dreadful 'no'. I need to let you know more for myself than you really that I have great dreams that I'm going to make sure don't stay in the land of dreams even if they have to frolick out there in fields filled with unicorn and streams of chai tea lattes for awhile as boxes are packed, new routines are settled into and things are figured out. 

It's been a wild ride and even though my dreams seem to just linger out in front of me right now, dreaming with the knowledge that I can do something about them and an amazing community supporting me is good enough for the time being. It is good enough to wait for better timing not due to perfection but due to the necessity of saying 'not now'.

Seeing Past The Excuses

Ever had an excuse so brilliant that you had to listen to it? An excuse that seemed to speak so much truth that it was impossible to ignore? I have.


My Favorite Excuses to be Wowed By:
1. You don't really have time for that.
2. If it's not perfect the first time, you should wait.
3. What kind of value does that even have in the world?
4. But he/she/they did it better than I ever could, so why try?


Let's Dissect This a Bit:

1. You don't really have time for that. Yeah, that could take like 30 minutes to 1 hour, but you have some emails to write so why not pop in a season of Friends and answer emails. You can turn off the season whenever you finish the emails and go do something else. The reality is that you will have answered those emails during the first episode and will still be watching when it's time to put in the second DVD. You had time. 

2. If it's not perfect the first time, you should wait. Where is the standard of perfection here? Perfect for who? Is your college professor going to look over this work? Will there ever be a perfect time, place, situation or what for you to complete this? If I wait forever, will it ever get done? Probably not.

3. What kind of value does that even have in the world? With so many idea people, storytellers, film makers, creators, bloggers, leaders, etc. etc. who am I to try to step into any of these roles? What can I contribute when others have contributed so much already? What area of expertise do I really have in the matter? I'm just a kid straight out of college still trying to figure out the world around me.

4. But he/she/they did it better than I ever could, so why try?  I follow some tremendous bloggers. I follow designers who I could only dream of designing something that great. I follow four filmmakers who made award winning movies while on summer vacation during college. I follow photographers who travel the world and have I am surrounded by people whose lives seem to be so much more, so much deeper, so much more impactful than mine. Maybe those people should do this, not me. 


You know what lives in these excuses and the questions that they back? Fear.


This Fear doesn't have to control you. You're the one that gets to decide if it does. For me, it's regarding my blog. I love to compare it to blogs when I know the stats in my mind aren't real. Maybe if I do this or that to make it better. In reality though, I just need to write. Writing takes more time than I always want to give it. I want my writing to be perfect and if I'm not feeling inspired, I just can't write. Writing could get me judged though. I judge my own writing against others who are more established and have written longer.


Why haven't I written in the past? I have accepted the excuses fear has given me.


It's time to write because I love writing. It's time to blog because I want to be a blogger. I want to punch my fear in the face and do the thing I love regardless of the excuses. That my friends is what I am going to do.