Tough Questions

I've been messaging one of my friends back and forth for a couple of weeks. He's been asking me some tough questions lately, questions that I haven't wanted to face myself or even put into finite words that could be answered instead of a form of abstract words, ideas and colors that I previously have had them floating around in my mind. It's good. It's a blessing in fact because I have to get back and answer him at some point which is causing me to face these questions.

This friendship and other friendships like this one are ones that I treasure. Friendships that encourage, challenge, and enlighten me are wonderful. God's definitely blessed me with some amazing friends and family. That is one of the things I'm most thankful for this season.

I didn't really mean to write a Thanksgiving-esque post, but it's the truth. Plus, it gave me more time to dwell on the questions at hand, which I will answer later. It's difficult as Charlie Brown once said, “In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.”

Why.

I enjoy writing, I do. That was originally why I got a blog. However, it has turned into something so much more beautiful in my life than just chronicalling what's going on with me or inside my head. I don't just blog, I read several (probably too many) blogs.

I've gotten the question of why I "waste" my time doing so. It's not a waste at all for me. I read a pretty good variety of topics from breakfast foods to urban pranks. Some of my favorite blogs are the ones that catch my attention as they stare into my heart and lay something in front of me that I'm dealing with or have continually dealt with in my life. This happened yesterday.

I'm not going to comment on it. I'm pretty sure it's a topic that everyone can relate to: forgiveness. However, after the quote I am going to quote a majority of what Pete Wilson had to say about it because I believe in what he said and think it would be wrong not to share that with you.

This is an excerpt that Pete posted the following excerpt from Deadly Viper by Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite:


"We made a pact with each other to be people who are fast to forgive. So much of our emotional volatility comes from relationship gone wrong. In the last couple of years, both of us have dealt with severe betrayal by trusted friends and partners. We were deceived and lied to by these individuals and their actions were reprehensible…
You see, when you don’t forgive someone, you let them park in your life forever. These people are like parasites that can suck the life right out of you and allow bitterness to rot you out. If you let these people and their actions haunt your thoughts, emotions,
and spirit, you allow them to continually damage not only you but those around you, too." - Deadly Viper


"I’m not going to pretend like forgiveness is always easy because we all know it isn’t. Some of you have been hurt in ways I can’t imagine. Someone wounded you, or betrayed you or lied to you or maybe cheated you. You’re afraid if you let go of the hurt, they get away with something. And you’re right, to forgive you will pay a high cost. In fact the only thing that will cost you more than forgiveness is not forgiving someone.
I know you want to see them hurt back but that desire is a weight or burden that actually becomes a part of you. You’ll carry that weight from relationship to relationship from season to season and if you carry that bitterness and anger around long enough it will choke the joy out of your life. It will cost you your heart. So be fast to forgive." - Pete Wilson

I'm Quitting College and Becoming a Trucker.

I've gone on four road trips in the last 10 days. That number is quite ridiculous, but way worth it. I went to Houston twice, Austin and Brenham. I got to see my family, UTXA and old high school friends, Jeremiah's family and our crew of friends for Halloween and the Williamsons. It was a glorious 10 days even though it was mingled with some crazy school.

One of my favorite things is just being on a road trip in general. Anyone can be in the car with me or no one at all. It's just amazing to watch the open road and have all that time for thoughts to mix and mingle in your mind as music is blasting, the sound of the tires hitting the road travel to your ears or a sermon is slicing through your heart with convictions and praises. Being on the road is one of my favorite things.

I've noticed a few things about my trips. I definitely have a preferred time frame in the day to hit the road. I am enjoying the fall season with the light that radiates from the sun. It casts such a beautiful light that hits the leaves as they have begun to transform from their ordinary shades of green to vibrant hues of reds, oranges and my favorite, gold. It's fabulous and captivates me every time I see it. That is very characteristic of my morning drives. In the evenings, I enjoy driving away from the sunset so when I glance at the car behind me in my rearview mirror, I see a variety of colors dancing across the sky as they flutter down beyond the horizon. Beautiful.

I've definitely pondered becoming a truck driver more than once in my life. They do have the best coffee, but more than that, there's something special about road trips. Something distinct about them that cause friendships to grow and thoughts to be layed on our hearts by our Lord.

In a podcast that I listened to on the way home from CS this summer, Ben Stuart talked about road trips and how Jesus took them with his disciples. I'm hoping to relisten to it this weekend on yet another roadtrip. (If I can figure out a safe way to take notes and drive, I'll try to post some notes on here when I get back. I'm just not sure how safe that really is...)

God really used my last roadtrip to Houston to speak to my heart about something specific. I'm not ready to share about it yet although I have a feeling that if God has a say (which He does!) it will be a for sure plan.

Cohesion

I don't always feel like there's cohesion within the thoughts running through my mind. I don't really want to sort through the jumble, but I want to place some of them here.

I've had some thoughts on the outskirts of my mind lately. Thoughts about those on the outskirts of society - the unnoticed, unloved, unworthy of our time. These are all words that are not saturated with truth but with lies. We talked about this at youth on Sunday. Some guy twittered about it a little while ago. I just read a blog about this. I'm going to share the blog with you: Some people always gotta swim upstream. There's a longer, deep blog about this that will be coming up, possibly later this week, month or year. It's been a long time in the coming, but it's a touchy subject but one that needs to be addressed.

Through a blog that I've already forgotten, I came to meet Matt Papa and his musical stylings. I want this cd. I love the cover and I love the music that I've heard from it. It's good stuff. (On the note of cds I want: the newest Jared Anderson and the newest Relient K are high on my list of wants. Santa Claus?)

Clyde met the family this weekend. It was good. He's a great dog and we're a great family, with our powers combined we may not be Captain Planet, but we're something like that. I'm really excited to see our lives with Clyde unfold.

God's Loves For Me Is Ridiculous.

I'm really frustrated with things continuing to not go my way. I'm not getting any kind of slack. Oh well. I had a beautiful reminder on my way to school this morning before I was going to give a presentation. This presentation could have definitely been prepared a bit more in advance. Finishing 40 minutes before giving it is almost like not procrastinating, right? It's all good. The radio deejay for KSBJ read my lifeverse of this season over the radio during my drive this morning:

Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged,
for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9

Yes, I'm aware that was pretty much my last blog, but even days later I fail to obey. I fail to give everything to him in every moment.

Speaking of that, my semester is possibly getting more ridiculous by the minute. I finally was able to get Clyde today. He's curled up on the couch with me right now as I write this. (He's a cuddler! Yay!) We were going to head to Houston when my car had a window meltdown over a fly. It'll be taken to the shop tomorrow by one of my darling roommates as another friend of mine takes me to Houston to meet with my parents. The Lord has blessed me with beautiful friendships and family ties no matter how frustrating my situations get.

This leaves me with many options tonight:
1. Possibly finding more room on this couch. When Clyde and I sat down here, I believe I had more room. Since then, he's seemed to conquer a bit of my space. This probably won't be enacted because well, he's cute.
2. Reading Italian. I must have printed out 2356272547 sheets of paper for that class today. That option sounds quite disgusting. I could read Pinocchio for that class though.
3. Watch a movie for INTS, because that's the one "study" thing that wouldn't be easy to do with other people like my family. Oh, wait. Nevermind.
4. Blog. Wait, Check?
5. Read my blogroll, check facebook and delight in what the Lord has led me to. Share these findings with my friends:

The ex-ASC president, Blaire, has a beautiful blog chronicalling her life. One of the things that drove us together in friendship during our sig was how we both have siblings with down syndrome. Her blog today made me cry, she has such a beautiful brother.

There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a brother or sister coming to Christ. Today, I've gotten wind of that for two different new sisters of mine. I don't know either one of them, but I'm excited for them. Here's one of the girls' stories, Christianne.

Off to study... but really.

Comfort

I feel like everything is falling apart.
I feel like a failure at school.
I feel like my friendships are shattering.
I feel like I'm more exhausted than I ever have been.
I feel like I can't prevail.
I feel like I can't stop the tears.
I feel like giving up.
I feel like I have comfort in the Lord. Because I do.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged,
for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

I Want To Play

Someone asked me what excited me the other night, what I wake up in the mornings and desire to do. I've got a few answers to that question, one of them is simpler than the rest though: I want to play.

It's very rare that I get to build a carboard or blanket fort these days. It's not always "appropriate" for me to wear a Batman costume and pretend my car is the Batmobile. I can't even tell you the last time I got incredibly muddy because it was raining and I thought it would be a good idea to roll around in the backyard.

Children are the ones who get to play. Well, I'm going to get to play soon, even if it will be through the eyes of a little boy named Max on the big screen, I'd like to think of it as an opportunity to place myself inside of the wolf costume he will wear.

If you are unaware of what I am referring to, Spike Jonze and Maurice Sendak have collaborated the childrens' storybook, Where The Wild Things Are into a motion picture film that comes out tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'm going to go see it tomorrow, but I can definitely say I am very excited about it and the glimpse back into childhood that it seems to be.


If this doesn't play, click here to view the trailer.

I've never really studied a popular culture film or book that's come out. I mean, I studied Peter Pan, but that came out in 1918 and 1927 I believe. If those are the correct dates, I'd be rather surprised I remember that from my Fantasy Literature class fall semester freshman year. For some reason though, Where the Wild Things Are has captured my attention in a way that I've been somewhat studying it. I can't tell you how many times I've watched the trailer, or listened to the soundtrack previews, but I can tell you I have yet to attend either of the two Maurice Sendak exhibits at the Rosenbach Museum in Philadelphia. It might be because I'm not in Philadelphia, but I can't 100% deny the fact that I might go if I was in Philly. I have read a few articles on the film, such as a Spike Jonze biography in the New York Times and an article containing 7 reasons to see it by some film critics. Spike Jonze's photography skill and innovations is a driving force in my desire to see this film.

I can't wait to go watch Max play and explore his world.
If only I could go play...

Driving The Distance

Ironically after the last post, I've fallen ill. However, I have a feeling I was already starting to get sick when I wrote that as I did feel rather lousy.

I came down to Houston to the doctor on Tuesday. Wednesday we did some medical testing. (We'll get those results back Saturday?) Thursday, I woke up even worse than I had been on Tuesday. It's been a great week of midterms. Out of 4 tests, 1 presentation, 1 bibliography and possibly something I've forgotten in the midst of it all, I've completed one test. This being said, next week is going to be a long week.

I drove up to CS last night to pick up some books, clothes, etc. that I'm going to need to read, wear, etc. This morning, I hit the road to come back to Houston and recover here and get ready for next week.

I've decided that one of my favorite things in life is waking up, grabbing some Chickfila chicken minis and some green tea and driving on an open road as the sun sets itself high in the sky. I prefer some Ben Stuart speaking some truth into my life or a mixture of beloved cds, some Christian music or some country twang ringing in my ears, preferably in the form of Brad Paisley.

Really though, I enjoyed my drive home this morning.

25 Facts of Procrastination

1. I'm supposed to be studying today. I'm being a failure at it by doing chores/anything but studying. I just really don't care that much about Porfirio Diaz and whatever he's done in Mexico. Plus, the mere thought of studying for PoliSci makes me want to drop the class.
2. I'm making gallo pinto for the first time today. I'm thinking it's going to be a fail, but I'm making enough to eat on all week...that should be fun.
3. I refused to get dressed this morning and go to the store to buy milk. Instead, I put on a hoodie and went to get Chickfila for breakfast. This leaves me with the task of buying milk and gas tomorrow.
4. I miss high school football games. I just really don't care about college football the same way as I do high school.
5. Finding a themed costume idea for 9-11 people is proving to be hard because of the multitude of choices we have and the lack of the junior high knowing old tv shows like Recess.
6. Our house is on a non-ice cream cake diet. Sad day. We don't even have ice cream here. I don't count sherbert, it's just not the same.
7. I've not been so sure about the coming of fall lately. Yesterday and today, fall has sprung though. I'm rather enjoying it. Now if it was only cold enough for a scarf and a fleece...
8. I get Clyde on Friday after school. I'm excited!
9. I should really be writing that blog I told Michael Ryan I was going to write and have been working on in my drafts. Oh well, here's to a few more days of waiting...
10. I really want a legit photographer's digital camera for Christmas. Canon. I may have found the one I wanted already as well...
11. Online shopping just seems so superior to book studying.
12. Once midterms are over, I think I'll be making a pumpkin something something ice cream pie. I'm not sure if that's going to be deemed as not acceptable as to our non-ice cream cake diet. We'll take a vote or rock-paper-scissors it out.
13. I really enjoy working in youth ministry. Games. Haha.
14. I had a presentation yesterday in Spanish. I definitely wore the same outfit as the other presenter who is my friend. We didn't plan that and I still find that humorous.
15. I'm glad I'm an International Studies major (minus the PoliSci class), but journalism tugs on my heart daily.
16. I'm starting to really like twitter. What's next? Farmville?
17. I have recently rediscovered my love for Todd Agnew. I am still excited about getting my Jared Anderson cd next weekend though.
18. I wish I could be 'cool'. I'm not though. Cue Scott Krippayne: "i'm no cool but that's okay my god loves me anyway / i'm not cool but that's alright i'm still precious in his sight". These are song lyrics from an actual song that Calli showed me on our way to SFR.
19. Part of me wonders if I should just give up studying or rather trying to study for awhile, get some energy out and I guess restart?
20. Stuff Christians Like is possibly one of my absolute favorite humorous things. I do really like Tim Hawkins song about Chickfila though. Actually, just Tim Hawkins in general makes me laugh.
21. Is it bad that I semi-wish I could get the flu so I wouldn't have to take tests. I mean, I'm not going to go around looking for germs. But if they find me what can I really do?
22. I really like songs that are redone in a funny way. That pretty much just means I really do like Tim Hawkins, Apologetics and people I don't actually knows' names.
23. I'm currently looking for hire. The technical job title I want is internationally travelling world changing journalistic youth worker. If you hear of an opening, let me know. I'm not completely not seriously about that. Do the two 'not' words negate each other on that? I hope not.
24. By currently looking for hire, I meant one day in my life. I'm currently looking to pass my classes this semester. I think my real job will go better than this whole studying thing.
25. I've decided that one of the most annoying things is when you're reading medieval Spanish and the words you're looking up don't exist anymore and aren't even archived anywhere. What, you don't have that problem? I'm not that surprised.

Notation: I definitely started a long time ago on this entry, but I haven't always had my own laptop, journals, files, or Bible with me to work on it. Needless to say, it’s been a long time coming for those of y’all who have known about it. It’s here though. I hope you’re challenged… I've had some great conversations the past couple of weeks. They've ranged from beyond really frustrating to completely encouraging. I saw my friend Dan in the coffeehouse when I was in a position where I could sit with him and chat for awhile. I'm so glad I did. I love it when I run into him. He was asking me what all is going on with my life and for some reason I started to talk to him about YoCo elections at A&MUMC. There was a big focus during the elections on doing mission work in our own community. Missions is Dan's thing. He loves with a love that has encouraged me to love deeper throughout this last year up until this day. He presented a mission opportunity to me, which I later took to Clay, the youth minister that I work with. The mission is making breakfast tacos, getting some OJ and coffee and going out to the street corners where both illegal and legal immigrants wait for work. He just hangs out with them, gets to know their stories and genuinely loves on them. How awesome is that? I later told a Christian friend of mine about this opportunity. She was completely opposed to it. The church is getting into a very political field, taking sides on the immigrant issue and making the church look horrible as it does so was what she said to me. Wow. I didn't expect that. It was such a slap in the face that I was shocked about it even hours later; days later I was still thinking about it. I thought Jesus called us to love everyone. I must have missed something... but I know in my heart that I didn't miss anything. It was tough to struggle with it alone, but later in the week I ended up talking to one of my roommates about our conversation. This was such a beautiful time of fellowship where we both dug into the word about missions and other topics close to our hearts. Whether this issue is political or not, I don't really care. This isn't about pro-immigration or anti-immigration. I've argued both sides in an international migration class my freshman year here in Aggieland. This is about turning our backs on a group of people. I really don't think Jesus would roll on past on his bike or in his car, waving at those standing out there on the street corners. The Lord I know would be out there, mingling, loving, embracing and caring about them. There is no doubt about that in my mind. There's a ton of scripture about all of this: hunger, thirst, compassion, loving on those less fortunate. I’m not going to share all of them with you because I may be here for awhile just typing them. I’ll just let you get a little bit of what the book of James says about it. My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? - James 2:1-4Cause my Jesus bled and diedHe spent His time with thieves and the least of theseHe loved the poor and accosted the comfortableSo which one do you want to be?Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my churchThe blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpetBut He reaches for the hurting and despises the proudI think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowdAnd I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud- My Jesus by Todd AgnewIsaiah 61:1-3The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion - to give them a beautiful headdress of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.


“My biggest fear is when I go before the judgment seat of Christ to have been found lacking - that I didn’t go to the least and the last, that I ignored people outside my own door that need Jesus, like illegal immigrants. We’re supposed to love the criminal. Yeah, they’re illegal immigrants, but Jesus still died for them. His grace is sufficient to cover that. Who are you or I to judge them? By feeding them you’re not offering amnesty, you’re offering love - a love that they might not love, but a love that was freely given to us and a love that we must freely give,” said Michael Ryan.

CLYDE!

He's now a member of the Karlen clan! I'm going to go pick him up at God's Little Creatures on the 9th. Then, he and I'll be driving home to meet the family. Pray for his integration into our family and that he won't mind being called Joe Clyde.

Think about it.

Good morning. Visit this site. Check out the cartoon. Mull over it.

http://www.nakedpastor.com/archives/3833

Apparently my heart is able to be won in under an hour.

It's been 11 days since I have posted which is way not okay. It's been hectic around here though. In that time, I believe I've been to two retreats, told a group of junior high girls who my crush is even though it's super light as far as crushes go and almost bought the sweetest adorable dog ever. Which of those do you think I'll be talking about?

CLYDE! The world's cutest and sweetest dog. We are perfect for each other and I'm not joking. He's got the exact same temperament as me and it's amazing. I wish he was with me right now sitting on my couch instead of my backpack, which is just not quite as adorable. I met him at Petco while trying to help Zara look for her pet rat she wants. We instantly meshed during the time that didn't even amount to an hour that we were together and now I can't get him off my mind. After a bunch of thought though, I just can't take on the responsibity of him. It makes my heart hurt. I wish my Dad would adopt him, but there doesn't seem to be a great chance with that. I would go pick him up right now, but it's just not feasible for me right now. It's exactly like Catherine said to me last night, "I wish we were older so we could do stuff like this." Amen. I'd love Clyde in my life, but it just wouldn't be fair to either of us as I don't know where God is taking me in life yet.

Ironically, that's been one of the main things on my mind lately other than some greatly unsettling things that were settled, but I won't be writing about that tonight. I've got some Wilson time to catch up on plus my professors feel like I should be writing papers, doing projects and taking tests. What a silly idea! Oh college...

Before I go though, I think Jared Anderson must love me or maybe Integrity Music emails do. Either way, he's releasing a new live cd and I want it. If you haven't listened to him you need to go check him out as he's one of my personal favorites. Also, if you're in the DC area, check this amazing event out that the Spy Museum is hosting. I wish I could buy the new Jared Anderson and listen to it on a plane ride next to my dog, Clyde, while heading to the Spy Museum.

Instead I'll listen to Jared Anderson's old music, while enjoying my yerba mate and writing in Wilson before settling down to read some Dante's Inferno. Somehow, it just doesn't seem the same...

Remembrance.

Some days, the rain just flows.
Some days, the tears just flow.

Some days, it appears to be one way.
Some days, those appearances fade.

Some days, we will be friends forever.
Some days, we are reuniting in the midst of pain.


Today, is the 8th year after 9.11.01 happened. It's funny.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
I remember I thought Chester was saying an unfunny joke on the bus that morning.
I remember not understanding what was going on.
I remember watching the news.
I remember being in 7th grade.
I remember people leaving to go home for no reason.
I remember how our table of twenty turned into just Liz and I.
I remember watching the news in all of our classes.
I remember Mr. Carol making our history class into a art stress relief period.
I remember being on NASA's property throughout it all.
I remember asking my mom why she didn't come get me.
I remember sitting on the stairs as I watched her call our family.
I remember the crash on repeat on the tv in our kitchen.
I remember fear of the unknown.

I saw my friend Ashley Teague's status on facebook a few minutes ago. Her grandmother has died. This coupled with multiple blogs on 9.11.01 has made me teary-eyed. It was good to reconnect with Ashley a bit. We're hopefully going to a Texas A&M Woman's Basketball game this season together. I can't wait. It'll be just like old times, we'll just be missing two of our favorites: Mamaw and Papaw.

Why? Scroll to #1.

TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:
1. You are way too funny. I'm so glad God brought us together!
2. I'm not sure where I would be right now if I'd never met you and for that, I'm thankful.
3. Even though I don't think I've said it, I'm super super excited for where your life is heading.
4. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.
5. I miss our friendship and the way it was.
6. Please, don't ask me anymore.
7. I love you to death, but you scare me sometimes.
8. I don't think we'll ever be living in the same city ever again. 3 times a year isn't enough to see each other.
9. Thanks for being there for me. I truly cherish our friendship despite not saying it enough.
10. I wish I could be at home with you right now, watching tv.

NINE things about yourself:
1. I'm a 2%.
2. I believe in tie-dying.
3. Christ is the one who came to set me free.
4. I would rather be on a mission trip 95% of the time.
5. I have a temperature of 96.1 right now. I checked a few minutes ago.
6. I sketch.
7. I love how our living room looks like a street cafe.
8. I have no idea where God is taking me in life and I'm generally okay with that.
9. I don't ever plan on getting a tattoo.

EIGHT ways to win your heart:
1. Laughter.
2. Trust.
3. Peace.
4. Christ.
5. Support.
6. Appreciation.
7. Quality Time.
8. Adventure.

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:
1. This phrase: "Really? Really? Really?" or a variation of it.
2. What's for dinner?
3. I wish I was in sweatpants.
4. I wonder what ______ is doing in ______ country.
5. "Wouldn't it be cool if...?"
6. I should be reading.
7. I just want to go kayaking and camping.

SIX things you do before you go to bed:
1. Facebook.
2. Turn off the lights.
3. Read my Bible.
4. Ponder.
5. Check to see my alarm time is set.
6. relax.

FIVE people who mean a lot to you:
I'm doing categories: Family, CL Friends, A&M UMC Friends, College Friends & Old Church Friends.

FOUR things you’re wearing right now:
1. Sweatshirt
2. ASC Shirt
3. A&M Windbreaker Pants
4. Ponytail Holder

THREE songs that fit your life perfectly:
They don't fit, but I like them:
1. "Unashamed Love" - Jason Morant
2. "I'm Yours" - Jason Mraz
3. "Come Thou Fount (Of Every Blessing)"

TWO things you want to do before you die:
1.Travel the World
2. Learn to love like Christ as well as I possibly can.

ONE confession:
1. I should be reading for my classes tomorrow, but taking this survey felt like it would make a much more significant impact in my life. Yeah right! Off to read...

2%

I'm an Aggie. Yesterday was a Saturday here in Aggieland (and everywhere else as far as I know). More than that though, it was the day where the 12th man came together in Kyle Field for the first game of the season. How awesome were my seats? Amazing because I didn't go. Here in Aggieland, I'm what you call a 2 percenter. I'm not sure why it's only 2, but this doesn't phase me one bit.

I decided to cook dinner with one of my friends, Maryum. This simple little dinner expanded throughout the weekend into 7 of us (Jeremiah, Stephanie, Maryum, Danielle, Hannah, Chris and I) crowded around our kitchen as we cooked and later the table as we enjoyed a feast together. Rice Krispie Treats, 2 types of queso and chips, chilaquiles, garlic bread and pesto pasta salad. It was amazing to say the least. We also made an ice cream cake, but it wasn't ready before everyone left. I had some today. All I can say is wow and that I'll be going back to the grocery store later this week to make another.

This is now going to be one of our traditions as none of us really go to Kyle Field to watch football. I'm a believer that our tradition is a million times better and certainly tastier!

Really, First Week Back, Really?

This week has been insane. I moved in to my duplex last Saturday afternoon and I've been nonstop ever since, which is the exact opposite of all my plans for this week. Why? Let me give you a brief synopsis:

- lost my wallet.
- got my parents to bring my passport and some money to me.
- replaced my id.
- picked up my paycheck.
- worked through the double major deal so now I'm in the INTS class I need.
- went to the bank to cash my travelers checks from when I studied abroad.
- parents switched my suburban out for my car and put it in the shop.
- picked up my car from the shop without a Driver's License or number.
- felt 16 again as I got a new driver's license.
- tried to pick up my textbooks 3 times before I could even get 1 of them.
- my car wouldn't start and then when I went back with Jeremiah it started automatically.
- Jacquelyn (my roomie) comes home and finds my wallet within minutes of being home.

Really? Seriously? Did this week happen or was it all a dream? Gosh. I am behind in my bible study now because I believe I've spent most of the week clinging to Joshua 1:9 and unfocused whenever I read anything but that verse.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Forget all that stress. It is a beautiful Friday morning. I've read through my bloglist and been greatly encouraged and had a ton of laughs. I absolutely love it when SCL talks about youth groups. It just makes me chuckle. It's going to be a great day though. I'm having lunch with Sam, studying and dinner with Catherine, Midnight Yell with Kali on Kyle field and our friends Katie and Maryum. Then, I'm off to movie night after that because it's tradition. How glorious!

Heading Back

It's my last night in Houston for the summer. I can't believe summer is over. It's bittersweet to say the least. Tomorrow, I'll be packing the rest of my stuff up into my car. In the meantime, I'll be praying that it all fits and preferably with a spot to pick up a friend on the way to my duplex. I'm hoping to not have to make a second trip down because I'm not sure when that would happen.

I'm hoping to make some semester goals and sticking to them. I've got a couple that have been mulling over in my mind lately, but we'll see what my last major drive for awhile comes up with before I go ahead and tell y'all. Why tell? I need a record and I can't lose this like I can a sheet of paper although I will be writing it in my journal. Mainly though, I need accountability from y'all, whoever y'all may be so that I maintain even a semblance of my goals.

I've been cramming in a lot of last minute things in the last three weeks. I had the joy of travelling to Austin to see the UTXA crew with Matt & Jen, the youth pastor and family from Wrangell. It was wonderful to see everyone and just catch up with them a bit before their semester started.

It's harder for me to leave Austin every time I visit. I'm not really ready to go back to A&M. I'm ready to see everyone. I'm just not get back to the hustle and bustle of everything especially as it consumed me last year.

No breaks though. I already have plans for tomorrow night and all day Sunday. Hopefully Monday I'll have some rest. I'm not holding out for that though. Nothing like being thrust back into the culture of A&M and the college life in general.

Enough about that, I'm sure I'll be revisiting these thoughts soon.

I read some interesting blogs tonight that I can't keep to myself. I'm inviting you to check them out. They both deal with social justice issues, something very dear to my heart, although both blogs are approached in very different manners.

This first one crushes me, but I'm glad that I am aware of this injustice.

The second one makes me rethink my daily life and seems very in line with my life in general. In short it is an inspiration.

Now to return to packing. It seems as if I have quite a bit to do before even thinking about making my thoughts of slumber into reality.

Savoring the last bits of summer...

...or visiting the doctor because I'm sick. Yeah, those seem about equal. Okay, maybe not.

Getting sick combined with last minute hangouts with full families, college friends that are in med/PA school, watching a friend of yours get pantsed by a monkey at Stockholder's reception and hearing your friend preach on Sunday morning for the first time ever has taken a toll on my time. However, getting sick just knocked me out for a few days. I'm back though with a necessity to go 1000mph to get ready to get back to school next week.

There's this problem though. It's stinking hot in here! I rarely ever get hot and always wonder why all the humans with temperature needs closer to polar bears need fans faced at them at all times or have the urge to don the Captain Obvious costumes as they spout off the obvious with phrases such as "It's hot." Well, I don't know how y'all do it, but I'll be very grateful to return to my normal body temperature where the hot is just not as hot. As if that even makes sense.

This isn't much of a read today, but I've got a link to a blog that has a link to a website. Why not just link directly? It'd be way too hard, plus the description on the blog explains a tad about the website in four short paragraphs with a great description. It's worth the extra clicking to go to a world next door.

Forget soul searching, I asked my coffee who I am.

Some days, it seems like college is all about defining yourself - who you are and how you relate to the world around you. Forget college because my coffee told me about my personality in this interesting article about coffee personalities.

Personally, I tend to switch between a wide variety of coffees mainly sticking with iced coffees, frappacinos and the occasional black coffee laden with sugar and sometimes creamer. I guess this makes me a laid back, spontaneous and flirty person who is also adventurous, flouts authority and is ready to enjoy life although at times I can be ambitious, focused and goal-driven. I guess that's accurate?

However, I overall have begun to prefer green tea. This makes the last line of the article cause me to giggle some.

Is too much of a good thing always bad?

I enjoy reading. I'm not sure if you've picked up on that by the 4 books mentioned on my currently reading list and one that I haven't put down on there to resist looking like I'm currently reading a small library.

Last night, I opened up my laptop ready to see what kind of interesting, reflectful, hilarious insights have been shared from the blogs that I have found this summer and devoured every word they have penned. Much to my dismay, not a single one showed up on my RSS feed. This worried me. How would I know what happened next in someone's life? What does the redone HGTV DesignStar Challenge done by that one blogger look like? Am I ever going to be able to find them again?

This has led me to search out some new blogs for a little reading this morning as I online shop. I've enjoyed what I've found immensely, however I just now went back to my feed and all the blogs I've read have been resurrected from wherever blogs go to die. Do I just add the newfound blogs I'm enjoying to the already miles long list of other blogs I read? When is too much, well, too much?

Maybe I'll delete some past people that I don't always click on to actually read. Maybe I won't and will instead just add to the plethora of reading. I'm sure it will have to be weeded out at sometime once school starts, right? Or maybe I'll just leave the whole thing in limbo as I have with the decisions of whether I should delete facebook friends that I don't really know, but may at some point in my life have some curiosity that their cat just threw up or that they really enjoy coffee cake.

Intents

Ahhhhh.
That's a sigh of relief.

The packing is over for now. Everything that I use is in College Station minus a few clothing items, the books I'm reading and my laptop among a few other things. It was good, albeit very stressful.

Sadly though, my room is brown. My chest, desk, and lockers are all brown. My bedding is also brown, which makes perfect sense in Houston since my room is turquoise. In an all white room though, the whole assortment looks well, rather brown and boring. Hopefully, my mom, aunt and I can spice it up with color on Saturday when we go back up there.

I'm back in Houston until then. My tent is set up in the middle of my room. It's nice. I think I'll zip me into my sleeping bag inside of there soon. It makes me kind of happy to even just go faux-camping since I've wanted to all summer but never went. Anyone want to go non-faux camping?

"Packing"

I'm as done packing before moving tomorrow as I plan to be.
I'm completely and utterly sickened by even the word "packing".
Yet, if I was told to grab my suitcase and pack it for travel, I'd be packed in 30.

When I get back here on Tuesday, there will be no bed; there will be no couch. I'm hoping to set up a tent and literally camp out in my room for the rest of the summer. I'm actually quite looking forward to it.

Time for some shut eye. I'm getting up in a few hours for coffee with my parents before the movers get here at 8:30. Early mornings...

Where in the World is Karlen?

I'm starting a packing frenzy. My room, college stuff, etc. I enjoy packing. For some reason though, it's bittersweet right now and I don't know why. It's like I can't put my finger on the exact reason. Oh well.

Friday is the starting point of Where in the World is Karlen? I'll be back in forth between Houston and CS a lot for moving, CLUES mentor training, Impact recruitment, etc.

I'm 100% ready to go back and 100% not ready to go back.
It makes sense, right?


Before it all though, I'll get to register for classes at 6am. I've yet to make a decision major wise.

Can't you just hear His belly laugh now?

Have you ever been waiting for a phone call or an email that you know is going to change things? I've spent a great deal of my summer waiting on two - an email whether I got CLUES mentor or not and whether or not my second major (International Studies) had been declared or not. I got both forms of communication this week. While I did get the opportunity to be a CLUES mentor (yay!), I was informed that no major declarations are being put through until October. How uncool.

All summer I've been doing a lot of questioning about this whole declaring a major thing. It just seems so definite, unchangable. I was hoping to take the easy way out with this decision as I've been hoping it just going through and my advisor would put me in a certain class I really need to take this semester but most likely won't. Then I wouldn't have to worry so much...

I do though and now I'm stuck scrounging around to figure out what I'm going to do this fall. I'm stuck. Howdy has just bailed on my search by letting me know at 7am it will no longer work until it opens Monday for registration. Okay, well, at least it can still help me for the next few hours. No. Howdy just turned its back on me by not loading. I've got some options I researched last night, but it all comes down to if I really want to stick with these majors or not.

Options:
Spanish & International Studies (Government & Diplomacy) majors
Spanish & International Studies (Communications & Media) majors
Spanish & Journalism minor
Spanish & Journalism & History Minors*

*If you're wondering, I'm not really planning on dropping any classes that I already have for this semester due to me having to add more classes already and I'll be 3 hours away from a History minor no matter what.

The "plan" (Man, I love when I can practically hear God's deep gut-wrenching belly laugh whenever he hears me say that. It reminds me that I'm not really in control.) is to get my teaching certificate after I graduate no matter what which will take about a year. Then I'm hopefully going to grad school for Journalism.

If I declare both majors though, I'll be in undergrad an extra 6 months causing me to graduate in December. That's not bad. Then there's the year of becoming teacher certified which is kind of my back up for everything (although if I chose the Span/Jour/Hist option, I'd have more choices). Grad school looks like it's about 2 years for a MA in Journalism. Sigh.

This is mainly just a written flow of the thoughts that have been weighing upon my mind this summer as I question everything I've done for the past 2 years. Having said that though, if you have any advice, I'd love to hear it.

Needing a Good Read? Great!

The last few days have been really sweet with seeing some amazing friends of mine. However, I have something different to share with you today.

I was just reading the latest blog on Blood:Water Mission's site. It got me to thinking of a novel I read earlier this year. I've been wanting to do some book reviews for awhile and I think this is a good time to start and a great novel to start with.

The Calling by Elizabeth Hankins is a book that captivated me on my December travel to Acuña, Mexico. Here's the synopsis which you can find on the authors website:

Chicago Tribune columnist Mera Kaine has overcome tremendous abuse and pain — experience that’s made her a passionate champion of human rights. But when her best friend’s religious ambition turns to violence, Mera is left with a dark secret that keeps her running — right into the war-ravaged villages of Southern Sudan where she uncovers an epic conspiracy at the hands of a militant government and its sponsoring energy consortium. Then, just as unexpected hope finds her, Mera must choose between the life she’s always dreamed of and a final, deadly act that could help liberate a people.

I strongly suggest that you go read this if you have any interest in Africa for sure. I really enjoy reading, but rarely get drawn into the point where I'm captivated in such a way that I can't put it down. I must attempt to do every other daily routine action while engulfing myself in the literature. That is how I felt about The Calling. I finished in January. It is almost August and I'm still seeing the images I conjured up in my mind as I was reading and meditating on the words Elizabeth Hankins penned that cut down to my soul. Incredible. Go, grab a cup of tea and sit in your favorite comfy chair and read this. You won't regret it.

Surviving Life as a Princess is Hard Work!

I survived both Princess Parties with 30 minutes of sleep going into the first. I'm not going to be talking about them here. Something happened at one of them that literally breaks my heart. Please pray for that. Please pray for the situations that daughter of the King is in.

Coming out of them though, I feel like I have a lock-in hangover. I spent the greater part of today curled up on the couch watching Monsterquest on the History Channel. I was perfectly content to sit there unmoving for hours on end as I rested.

Better rest up, I'm going shopping with Maryum tomorrow and I'm falling asleep writing this. Goodnight.

I Really Should be Asleep...Why Am I Awake?

Edit: It's 4:08AM and I can't sleep. This just can't be good.


I'm working two Princess Parties (Girly Lock-Ins) back to back. Exciting. Will I survive? We'll find out Friday morning at 6AM.

If you haven't been to a Borders lately, go. I've got some great book suggestions if you need a good read. Also, try their Cold-Brewed S'mores Mocha. I'm not always a fan of iced coffee because like most beverages with ice, the amount of ice versus the amount of beverage is wildly unequal. I enjoy a good Cold-Brewed S'mores Mocha though. It's currently my favorite coffee beverage.

I'm slowly succumbing to the idea of getting Twitter. To tweet or not to tweet? Thoughts?

Also, I finally added all my Nicaragua photographs to facebook. You might want to check them out. I miss it there.

Breakfast Cereal Breakup

Dearest Fruit Loops,

As you know, my favorite time of day are the wee hours of the morning when no one else is awake except by force of having to go to a class. During this time, I meet you with a tea in the 12th Man and usually my planner to go over what needs to be done. Well, over the past month I have met a new friend. I know some mornings I wouldn’t eat breakfast with you and you’d get jealous of my other choice, Cheerios. Well, Cheerios and I met at Target a few weeks ago. Since then, we’ve been inseparable.

Don’t get me wrong, your fruity taste is still great. However, Cheerios has made me an offer I can’t refuse. Cheerios has changed for me and gotten a fabulous new fruity taste itself and is winning my love like no cereal ever has before. I know you have put up a good fight with your golden bars, but it just didn’t resonate with my taste buds as much as we both would have liked.

Don’t think of this as the end of all breakfasts together, but know that there is a new cereal that is satisfying my taste buds for the time being. Fruity Cheerios and I are great new friends.

A Firm Believer in Breakfast,
AKarlen



Is it weird that I really do feel like I’m cheating on Fruit Loops?
Fruity Cheerios are just so good though!

Sunshine through the Rain

The last couple of days have been really good:
+ Enchiladas Verdes at El Dorado with Mom, Lori and Aunt Pat. Yum!
+ "24th" Sleepover with TeeJay, Lori, Angie and Erinn. Painting, White Elephant and The Long, Long, Trailer. Oh, and quite a bit of food.
+ Mom and I have been cleaning out the "baby" toys from Lori's closet. She's been reading us stories like the 6 Chinese Men that she finds in there. It's been fun(ny).

Went up to CS today to check on two potential roommates. I had a peace leaving CS, now the peace has subsided. There is a lot of prayer in its place though as I am anxious to find out who will end up in the room.

On the bright side, it was sunny and rainy when when we were driving into my neighboorhood when we got home. There was even a rainbow. How beautiful!

My Heart Has Been Stolen By The Band

Things lifeplanwise are looking up. I still don't know what I'm doing, but I'm more okay with that tonight. Coffee, friends and a bit of Jesus are all great things.

Some of y'all know, or do y'all?, that I am a David Crowder Band fan. [As well as a fan of blogspot and the way that your internet can shut down on you in the middle of writing something, but it saves your entry, so you don't have to start over. How thoughtful.] They are just plain cool. They have a xanga and a keytar. Need I really say more?

I'm even a fan of theirs on facebook, which is saying a lot because I'm not a facebook fan of just anything - although I do enjoy hot showers and chocolate chip cookies. I think I'm a fan because of their humor. It's very me. I'm going to stop rambling with how I love DC*B so much, because it's starting to be a tad embarrassing. Almost as much as me just going to look up the spelling of the word "embarrassing" to make sure it's correct.

Either way, you should really watch this video: DC*B's Rockumentary 4: Twitter Will Kill You:


Ironically currently listening to: Home - Shawn McDonald

What to do, What to do, What to do...

I just want to scream.
I've been rethinking my major (International Studies & Spanish) for the last week. These thoughts of doubt came from out of nowhere. My result? I have no idea what I'm doing. I mean, I'm going the right way if there was just one path. There's not though. There's a series of paths that are branching off, options that I should have already realized, but I failed to realize them. Now what?

I need to remember the future is in God's hands because I've got no clue where in the world it is taking me.


"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD ,' plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" - Jeremiah 29:11

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

Just a Thought to Ponder

I didn't plan on posting today, but this was on one of the blogs I have been perusing lately and it caught my eye, especially the bolded.

The call for unity in the SBC is a call to move past generational and
methodological differences in an effort to partner together for gospel
advancement in our cities, our nation, and around the world. We can do far more
together than any of us could do apart. And when we display gospel unity to the
world, they see and believe in the One we love, worship, and preach (John 17).

The flip side is also true…when we bicker, compete,
fight, slander, gossip, and act like fools, we do serious damage to the gospel
work God has called us to locally and globally.
-Jay Hardwick

After reading that, all I've got to say is think about it and praise the Lord for the words he spoke through Dan that I am clean. I am free.

Happy Birthday America Day!

It's the 4th of July. Nothing too exciting was planned. I got to hang out with Tina Bandyopadhyay before we both watched fireworks on TV with our families. Yay for 40 years for NASA and double yay for the Star Wars theme song being the intro for Shell's fireworks display.

Here is my pondering of today:
How in the world do firework displays happen in Alaska? Do they?
I hope Addy Esco knows and tells me.

& Congratulations to some friends of mine on their engagement! They haven't announced it yet and that's why their anonymous for the moment. :)

Haiku, what would we do without you?

I read a blog called Stuff Christians Like. It cracks me up. One of the points for today is giving a sermon in haiku. I haven't written a haiku in quite awhile. Here's my day to come in haiku:

Five seven five yay!
Haikus are in syllables.
Be delighted now:

Today I eat lunch
Italian with Maryum
To discuss our lives.

Then Grandmom's kitchen
Will be sorted through for me
To own kitchen stuff.

Later, Disney shows
Lori and I, a tea cup
my sketchbook to enjoy!

La Chureca is Holy Ground

Nicaragua is going to be told through a series of posts I believe. It's hard to just sit down and know where to begin. I looked through all my photographs of the trip yesterday and have selected a few that I just feel are captivating in a certain way. (The picture of the tire was taken from Leah Wakefield though.)

Driving into the dump was best explained by Patrick Brown as heading into a warzone. I couldn't find a picture of that, although this is just after before heading into the bulk of the dump. In the background, a dump truck is on its way out. This is a world that is just unimaginable to our minds as people line up in the trash waiting for the dump trucks to dump their goods for the people to go through and get out anything they might be able to salvage and sell. This is how they make their living. Think about that.

This is probably alongisde the "road" of the dump. The dump is called La Chureca and was difficult for us to get through because of the stench. It's difficult for me to think that our brothers and sisters live here. I met one lady, who introduced herself as a lady of God instead of her name, whom didn't have any family members and was just so happy to see us although we weren't working on our house. She just loved the fact we were there. She was really sweet.

The people collect all the trash into bags to sell. I believe that's what's going on in this picture. The water in the back is most likely contaminated beyond all reason. I'm not certain whether it's Lake Nicaragua or Lake Managua, but one is contaminated with mercury. This lake with its' location of being in the dump, I fear is far worse off. People drink and bathe in it.

This is just the land or garbage. I'm not sure if you can really separate those words. They've become one. We were looking at photographs on different cameras and in some, they looked beautiful because when they are small, it just looks like a landscape.

Thse are two of three children who were bathing in the yard next to one of the houses we worked in. These kids were precious. The children are standing in the midst of houses.

This is kind of a rooftop view of a group of the houses. During our time out in La Chureca, we put five tarps up on houses. This will enable the families to be able to stay dry at night. The primary reasons children who go to school often miss days are because they are helping their parents wade through trash to get money for food or because they are wet from the last nights' rain and dont' have a change of clothes to attend school in.

This is the front yard of the last site we worked at and these are some of our workers. I believe they are sorting through the two types of nails we had. Meanwhile, I am holding a very unsturdy ladder for two Nicaraguan boys who were helping us lay the tarp on the roof of their house. Aren't those flowers beautiful?

One of the girls at worship one night reminded us of the hope of La Chureca that she'd seen throughout the day by seeing butterflies everywhere. This picture took awhile to get, but hope is there just as this butterfly is.

This little girl is adorable. This was taken at the school in La Chureca during one of our puppet show/coloring times. I'm not really sure what she's gazing at. During this time we also performed a few songs for the kids.

This is the group of children and teachers that were at the school. There is about 350 of them I believe. Unlike most schools, they don't have to have uniforms or supplies to attend school. Oftentimes, costs such as these prevent many students from attending school altogether. They also get a lunch at the school, sometimes the only meal the child will get that day.

Bubbles. Burbujas. I believe this is almost as international as the smile. Someone started this at the school and the kids went wild over it. They loved it. I just love how the joy on their faces was captured in this photograph. They've got a tough life, but they can still find joy.

I had to put this in. Shower time. "Sweet shower time. Scrub! Scrub! Scrub!" These were fun times. You'd be surprised at the deep conversations that take place in the girls' bathroom. Haha.

Yes, that is a squirrel in a cage. Squirrels aren't native to Nicaragua so they are exotic pets and in the zoo. We worked in the afternoons doing VBS and painting at Casa Havilah, a girls' home. The girls' in this home were taken out of their living situations for a variety of reasons. These girls are all from the dump and I can't even begin to explain the horror of what they've lived from. The girls' ages range technically from 3-16, although the 3 year old (Anacelli) was getting lost in the shuffle, so they moved her to Casa Robles, the boys' home that was just started a year and a half ago. While we were there, Maria Elena, got the chance to celebrate her 8th birthday. It was her first birthday to actually celebrate though. It was a really sweet moment and Brian Coats has a video that you should check out by clicking this.

This is Lily. She's from Casa Havilah. The last night wee worked, the girls and boys came over to the Buzbee's complex and we had a puppet show and concert followed by a pool party for them. It was a really sweet time. Lily was exhausted but she loved her pizza.

The last day of the trip, we went to the beach to kind of process the last few days and get ready to come back to the USA. The bus ride was amazing with the scenery that flew by of towns and Ometepe, the volcano island the '06 team went to. At the beach, Don Macune, Shelley Harwell, Jessica Sarpu and I explored the town of San Juan del Sur and investigated what these men caught in their boat that day.

This is Guillermo and Kristen Jones. They are two of our fearless leaders. Guillermo or Sr. G is our fearless bus driver who is so much more than a bus driver. He was amazing.

This is Cathlyn Leonard and Leah saying goodbye to the girls and boys from Casa Havilah and Robles. One of my favorite memories happened a few minutes later as much of our team ran after the bus trying to catch it, just as children always do for us. I can't explain it.

Amidst all the garbage, one of the families planted these flowers. There is hope. There is hope in La Chureca. It is Holy Ground. La Churecha is Holy Ground.

Photography is a magnificent treasure from God.

The events, faces, smiles and more of Nicaragua are marinating in my mind. I haven't exactly narrowed down what I want to share of that experience yet.

As my mind has been marinating, I've finalized a layout for this site. I went back to a past facebook note which I thought was fun. I'm posting the Rules just in case you want to do it too or you just want to see the results you would get:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search (http://www.flickr.com/).
b. Using ONLY the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Mosaic Maker. Change rows to 3 and columns to 3 (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php).
d. Save the image and post it on this note!

The Questions:
1. What is your name? Ashley
2. What is your favorite food? empanadas
3. What is your favorite color? tie dye
4. Favorite drink? Green Tea
5. Dream vacation? Around the world
6. Favorite hobby? travelling
7. What you want to be when you grow up? a helping hand
8. What's one thing you call valuable on this earth? friendship
9. One word to describe you? creative

& That's how the photography collage at the top came into existence.

"God doesn't wreck our plans, he just has no regard for them." - anonymous

I woke up today believing it was simply another lazy day of summer, which I've been perfecting this last week by pretending to study and watching an extreme amount of Disney channel peppered with selected shows from TLC. In order to actually study math I am in need of my graphing calculator that I let Cathlyn Leonard borrow. I headed to Westchase to meet her and get it today. I arrived in the Big Room to see her, but she was not there. I sent her a text and proceeded to search the building which is when I stumbled upon Brian Coats.

I stopped to talk to him, which is when he found out my lazy day schedule. Mr. Brown had to drop out of the Nicaragua trip and BC was offering me the spot on the trip. After making some phone calls to my parents and the travel agent, I'm all set to go minus paperwork which will be taken care of in the morning, way before my normal wake up time.

Driving home while I was cancelling plans, I realized just how crazy God is, especially with his perfect planning. I talked to Mr. Brown about this trip back in February before I finalized my summer "plans" of taking CLEP tests and going to Alaska. I definitely prayed about the trip, but didn't know how it was going to work out and just let it slide out of my mind.

Ever since I've been back from Alaska though, Nica has been on my mind a bit. I've been thinking about gallo pinto, the Nicaraguans I know and love, the mission team I travelled there with and those I've travelled to other places. And now, I'm going back to Nicaragua.

I haven't stopped smiling since I left the church with my paperwork in my passenger seat. Sam Shrauner could hear my smile in the voicemail I left her. I'm excited to say the least. Nicaragua, here I come!